28th
Hey there neighbor!
Last night I arrive home sometime around 230, parallel park my car a few houses down the block, get out and begin my journey to leftover Indian food in the refrigerator. What I didn’t expect was for some lady, who had also just parked her car, to get out and start attacking me with questions and insults. Apparently one day I parked in front of her “driveway” — this driveway is actually just two slabs of concrete on which nothing is ever parked.
Now this lady was so worked up that it might have been comical if it weren’t 230am on a Friday night, and I wasn’t high, and she wasn’t middle aged and I a young lass.
I’ve replayed it over in my head several times, and like many situations, I wish I had thought of such wittier things to say or do at the time. Especially when she told me she knew the car was mine because she took down the license plate.
Um, no bitch, you know the car is mine cause I just got out of it.
And you know the car that was parked in front of your “driveway” because it’s the only white SUV on the block. Not because of the license plate.
Please, keep in mind the entire time that this was at two-thirty in the morning.
I had a few good lines like “You don’t need to be so stuck up about it” and “Good luck with that.” I don’t really remember what she said to me because, one like I said I was high, and two, I don’t listen to crazy people.
